Updated: Jul 17, 2018
The whole turning 50 experience has allowed me to take stock and see where I would like the rest of my life to go. I am determined to head into happy, healthy and positive-land rather than mope. But I must admit if there is one expression that I detest then it is the term ‘mid-life crisis’’ so I decided to unpack it for myself.
The urge to reconnect with my inner self was too insistent to ignore, is this the female midlife crisis?
You don’t regret pouring all your younger years into your family, your husband and children but should this exclude any dreams and passions you had for yourself? Realisation happens, and you see how your identity is defined by what we do and how by others expect us to be, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister and more often than not a co-provider. We joke about all the different caps we wear, but our caps are now our perceived identity we have in the world. Who in the world are we when we are aren’t wearing anything at all?
Society has done its part to discourage women from pushing the boundaries of the gender roles that still permeate society today. For sure there have been trail blazers, but women’s roles haven’t changed too much since my Grandmother's day, except now we have to keep a full-time job as well. We have been so busy taking care of everyone that it is no small wonder we have forgotten to take care of ourselves, our needs, our desires. What happened to the little girl who wanted to be a rockstar or a scientist when she grew up?
The question now is it too late? I certainly hope not, though maybe my rockstar days have passed!
The other misconception I believe is that when you talk ‘’mid-life crisis’’ it seems to come packaged in the presumption that we all need to shed our current lives to do this, and indeed some will experience this. But is it not possible to start taking time to devote to yourself without sending a wrecking ball through your family?
I don’t want to fear questioning myself if I am satisfied with the person who lives inside me. Instead, I want to embrace the excitement and passion of doing something I love, a stepping stone to creatively rewarding pursuits, stimulating my mind and stretching my capabilities in new and exciting ways. You forget how fun it is to test your limits, and like my body, my mind certainly needs the exercise, coding 101 coming up! Will it be hard for me, sure, but I am excited to try it anyway.
I believe we have the enormous capacity to embrace where we stand right now and also move in new directions to enjoy a renewed sense of meaning and purpose to guide us in the second half of our lives.
An article that quoted a psychologist saying that self-esteem = achievements/expectations. If you have always wanted to achieve something and if you are not working towards it you will never be fulfilled, and how could you be when you aren’t even being your true self.
Authenticity to self should not be frowned upon or feared; it should be embraced and pursued, I believe the sense of peace within myself I am searching for is in reconnecting to the passion and joy in life. I am sure a happier me will only result in being a happier wife, mother, daughter and sister and bring with it a sense of being a part of the bigger picture called life.
What are your purpose and passion, can you remember who you used to be?
It's surprising how practising a little self-care can improve your life. Showing yourself a some of the love and attention that you freely give to others will do miracles for your mind, body and soul.
Midlife crisis a poorly coined term if you ask me, a little self-reflection never hurt anyone at any age.
What are you waiting for?