I Figured Out How I Put Weight On..

A year ago…

Today is the day I am going to change my world forever. Today is the first day of my journey to be a bikini model in six months, to cut out the sugar, to eat healthy…. today I am going to change my business around and create an empire out of it which will give me less stress ….. then I remember, the bills that need paying and that I can't live without doughnuts, and vanilla slices. All those foods I enjoy so much come flooding back with thoughts of "you can never eat me again” ”I am what makes you happy" then I go into gorge mode and eat everything that I can think of because my thoughts tell me I will never eat it again... the weekend looms and the thoughts of ‘I may as well start Monday’ appear. Monday comes and we are on repeat…..

SO... What actually makes you make a decision... I have been looking at successful people and people who have lost weight for over a year to help motivate me to help create a desire to change... I had my nails done, put extensions in my hair hoping that it would create an arena of change, time to put looking like a fishwife away... I put photos of skinny girls on my phone wallpaper for goal bodies to work towards... nothing changed in fact the scales increased.

I have told myself time and time again I will start monday and then an unexpected event comes along and crap! I get angry at myself for not starting when I said that I would. If I had started when I said I would, I would now have something nice to wear (read smaller)...instead I squeeze into something black and put on a smile that I am happy but deep down I feel like the elephant in the room....

Time and time again I have eaten like no tomorrow... quarter of a cheesecake... ice creams... biscuits... we all have that hiding space in the cupboard at home or in the fridge... or eat in the car before we arrive home... I carried a spoon in my bag for the times when I stopped at the shops to buy a cheesecake or chocolate mousse on the way home because I was starting Monday.. But Monday always came and I didn't last the day and I would do it all over again...I am angry, upset and depressed with myself and it affects my whole life right down to how I handle every situation and how stressed I become about my life, my husband and family because of my lack of self control.

Surprisingly you would think it would be as easy as a food based decision but weight gain is more of a mental process than just deciding to eat an apple over a chocolate bar. If it was based only on logic then we would all choose the apple… but sometimes it is just not that easy…. We didn’t get here overnight and it will not take you overnight to change either…..

We know how you feel, we have felt the same way and this is what we are learning, food addiction and its ability to control you rather than the other way around has profound effects on every aspect of our lives. There are so many areas to work on but the basic need for fuel in our bodies to function is where we have started our journey to unravel what is sometime utter chaotic lives.

Choosing to no longer consume sugar, processed foods has made a huge difference to the way we function, learning that fat is not the enemy but is actually our friend has been a total revelation. To our utter amazement in committing to choosing fat as our main source of energy has resulted in breaking, I now believe, to be not specifically ‘’food addiction’’ but false appetite stimulation, the need to keep eating even though you only ate an hour ago.

It actually becomes normal to choose something healthy over the suddenly too intense taste of sugar. So what changes in your life? Speaking only what we have found to be true is that life still happens, sometimes in chaotic explosive fashion, BUT our reactions to it have been a revelation, no longer is food the first thought we turn to to help manage our emotions. A clearer and more focused mind emerges and finally you feel like you are starting to turn into the person who you have always meant to be. Life is always challenging but finally we are starting to meet the challenges without throwing a doughnut at it first…

Comfort Food?

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