Updated: Apr 11, 2020
I felt compelled to write this…
My daughter made comments today on how she is not happy with herself; she doesn't like herself because she feels she could always do better than what she has currently achieved. Realistically she is beautiful, fit, healthy, hardworking, and made great grades in school. I now wonder what messages are we sending ourselves? I accept that I am still learning to deal with this thought process as well, but I am in my 40’s, and I don’t remember thinking like that at 17. Even today I struggle to enjoy where I am in life.
There is always that feeling that I could be doing more, I could be more, I could be healthier, I could be fitter, richer, a better mum. I could have tried harder, even though we are pouring our whole hearts into the goals we are currently trying to achieve.
When do we stop and appreciate what we have achieved, what we have accomplished or how far we have come? It could be our weight-loss journey, or how we have managed to grow and support our children, continue to hold down jobs, housework, businesses, the list goes on. It could be as simple as how far we have come in our exercise program, or just cutting out takeaway every week! When do we stop and celebrate our small achievements that lead to big achievements?
Balance in our thought process is missing. If I look back to when I 'thought' I had put on weight, I now realise I looked great. I didn’t appreciate where I was or what I had at the time. On this journey, I need to continue to strive to learn the attitude of gratitude. No matter what the current situation is as we don’t know when or if our circumstances could change, that what you don't appreciate now, you will realise in retrospect how good it was.
What message are we subconsciously sending our children? It does not matter how big or small they are, in 'Two Determined Chicks' we have children aged from 12 to 28, and they are still today watching and learning what to do and how to handle life from us. We need to stop and celebrate ourselves, there is such a fine line in today's world of appreciating what we have and striving for more, but again comes back to balance. I think if we don't stop and pat ourselves on the back for the small achievements, then neither will our children. I sometimes look at them and wonder where did you learn that? Why are you saying that - and not in a good way. Are we projecting more about ourselves, what we say, how we see ourselves without even realising it, having it reflected back to us by our children? My best friend and partner in this fantastic journey always tells me two things;
“Comparison is the Thief of Joy” and “You don’t know what their crap-o-meter is like compared to yours”.
Stop comparing! Here you are beating yourself up, and your kids are listening and learning. Because you can’t keep up to that person on Instagram or Facebook that appears to have it all?
"How could she lose all that weight."
"How could that person be successful", and the list goes on and on.
Start realising that you are doing an excellent job wearing all the hats you juggle, Celebrate the small things accomplished no matter how small, because no matter how tough your life feels you need to acknowledge that you are doing great so your kids can learn to love themselves too.
Two Determined Chicks