Does familiarity breed… invisibilty?
A funny thing happened after going out for lunch today, I thought my husband was going to pull my chair out to help me because I was in some pain with my lower back, but no, he kept walking.
I said to him, ‘’Am I so invisible to you, that you don’t even see me anymore?’’ He did counter with a pretty 'on point' response saying that usually I am always on my phone, and I can’t deny that, it’s my work, office and also social contact point. So how do we get so invisible to each other?
I read once that if we don’t examine these feelings/beliefs that they tend to become self-fulfilling prophecies. Is that the difference in men and women, our unfailing ability to talk, that we are far more in touch with discussing our feelings than men are? Perhaps the act of contemplating why things are, automatically makes us aware in the future so we do not keep repeating a negative behaviors
Long term relationships have to work at the invisibility aspect, it does not matter if you have been together thirty years, you (and I do mean both partners) still want to feel loved and appreciated. When we start to take each other for granted and forget the simple act of appreciation, a hug, a kiss, some thoughtful words, we leave the door open for negative feelings to emerge, feeling like our needs are not being met for simple love and belonging which eventually, I believe undermines our self-esteem. Enter a recipe for happiness to wither and a slide into de-valuing each other. Can one say enough that communication for both partners is crucial.
Here’s to being present in the moment with our eyes wide open.